








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2187 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1960 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2042 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1595 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,201 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smartaaa | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | ZypX | 59% | 83 |
| #3 | maddoxx | 56% | 94 |
| #4 | Yo_ViDa | 54% | 143 |
| #5 | jelle023 | 52% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Yo_ViDa | 54% | 143 |
| #5 | jelle023 | 52% | 149 |
| #6 | Beek | 51% | 68 |
| #7 | Dog Mind | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | PlofTank | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beek | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | maddoxx | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ZypX | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | jelle023 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Yo_ViDa | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yo_ViDa | 574 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | ZypX | 402 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | jelle023 | 394 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | maddoxx | 271 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Beek | 197 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jelle023 | +1.61 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | ZypX | +1.34 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | PlofTank | +1.30 | 51 | 66 |
| #4 | Yo_ViDa | +0.12 | 79 | 85 |
| #5 | maddoxx | +0.10 | 78 | 74 |





