








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2585 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3857 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3025 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,330,126 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1020 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iBrahizy | 33 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Nonexistent | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | jackie | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | brandon | 6 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | KohZe | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iBrahizy | 500 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | KohZe | 327 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | |Blade| | 241 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Nonexistent | 190 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | jord | 154 | 0.16 | 5 min |





