








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1751 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2086 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2002 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2181 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,516 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | forest | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | ustick | 56% | 73 |
| #3 | j4son | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | hehe | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | bruh | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | bruh | 54% | 46 |
| #6 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 51% | 85 |
| #7 | Madbeetle | 50% | 189 |
| #8 | big flippa | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | L1ghtw8 | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Madbeetle | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | forest | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 469 | 0.30 | 12 min |
| #2 | Madbeetle | 434 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | bruh | 224 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | j4son | 193 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 175 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big flippa | +2.35 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | ionic | +1.13 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | forest | +0.48 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | L1ghtw8 | +0.41 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | -0.08 | 74 | 61 |





