








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 351 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2822 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3759 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3251 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3510 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,547,390 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 61% | 72 |
| #2 | big flippa | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | bruh | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | j4son | 51% | 93 |
| #5 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 50% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 50% | 117 |
| #6 | ionic | 50% | 189 |
| #7 | hehe | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | L1ghtw8 | 48% | 44 |
| #9 | hEN3SY | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ionic | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ustick | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 474 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | ionic | 380 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | j4son | 306 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 257 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | bruh | 253 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big flippa | +2.33 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | L1ghtw8 | +0.92 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | ionic | +0.70 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | hEN3SY | +0.40 | 95 | 47 |
| #5 | ustick | +0.30 | 79 | 64 |





