








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2831 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3085 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3008 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3139 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,666 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 54% | 140 |
| #2 | ionic | 51% | 85 |
| #3 | Madbeetle | 50% | 117 |
| #4 | hehe | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | j4son | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | hehe | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | j4son | 48% | 50 |
| #6 | forest | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Trickyvic99 | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | BRICK | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Madbeetle | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ionic | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | j4son | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | BRICK | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 858 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | Madbeetle | 201 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | ionic | 173 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | j4son | 147 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | BRICK | 141 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ionic | +1.46 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | +0.83 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | forest | +0.74 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | ustick | +0.38 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | j4son | +0.36 | 75 | 68 |





