








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2794 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 398 matches | ||
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 160 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9177 | 25% |
| Smokes | 12182 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 7009 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7975 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,019,328 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3031 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 56% | 263 |
| #2 | •pürp1εhazε• | 55% | 1298 |
| #3 | sweet | 53% | 427 |
| #4 | Tjmizzy | 52% | 330 |
| #5 | Carmi | 50% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 56% | 263 |
| #2 | •pürp1εhazε• | 55% | 1298 |
| #3 | sweet | 53% | 427 |
| #4 | Tjmizzy | 52% | 330 |
| #5 | Carmi | 50% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •pürp1εhazε• | 74 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | sweet | 30 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Tjmizzy | 29 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Carmi | 10 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •pürp1εhazε• | 4211 | 0.16 | 92 min |
| #2 | sweet | 939 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #3 | Tjmizzy | 812 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #4 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 753 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #5 | Carmi | 368 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluu | +2.78 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | +0.48 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | Carmi | -0.17 | 61 | 54 |
| #4 | •pürp1εhazε• | -0.29 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | Tjmizzy | -0.39 | 66 | 61 |





