








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3801 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3208 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3108 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2700 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,310 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 471 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip3.0 | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | DizzyWallins | 50% | 189 |
| #3 | ΛBBIƬƬY BΛBBIƬƬY | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | ✪ Light The Beam | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | doc shifty | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Broseff | 46% | 80 |
| #7 | Fatal | 44% | 70 |
| #8 | ❤Poochie❤ | 40% | 58 |
| #9 | Milpert | 39% | 28 |
| #10 | theoriginalmres | 22% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Light The Beam | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Fatal | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Broseff | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | DizzyWallins | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Chip3.0 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DizzyWallins | 327 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Chip3.0 | 326 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ Light The Beam | 199 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Broseff | 140 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ❤Poochie❤ | 120 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip3.0 | +3.21 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | Leo2k | +2.27 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | Broseff | +0.26 | 42 | 40 |
| #4 | ❤Poochie❤ | -0.09 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | DizzyWallins | -0.59 | 35 | 55 |





