








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




150 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5020 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5089 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4407 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5610 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,890,647 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coda | 53% | 78 |
| #2 | Sleepy | 51% | 119 |
| #3 | Chip3.0 | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | doc shifty | 45% | 132 |
| #5 | Leo2k | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Broseff | 42% | 130 |
| #9 | Milpert | 41% | 44 |
| #10 | ❤Poochie❤ | 40% | 102 |
| #11 | theoriginalmres | 39% | 84 |
| #12 | ✪ Light The Beam | 34% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broseff | 24 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Sleepy | 24 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | DizzyWallins | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ❤Poochie❤ | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ✪ Light The Beam | 7 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DizzyWallins | 553 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Broseff | 260 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chip3.0 | 226 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | ❤Poochie❤ | 223 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ Light The Beam | 199 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip3.0 | +4.89 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | Leo2k | +2.73 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | Sleepy | +2.05 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | ✪ Light The Beam | +1.54 | 60 | 60 |
| #5 | Broseff | +1.41 | 41 | 44 |





