








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




142 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3935 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5476 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5393 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6858 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,010,673 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milpert | 54% | 104 |
| #2 | DizzyWallins | 49% | 301 |
| #3 | doc shifty | 48% | 192 |
| #4 | ΛBBIƬƬY BΛBBIƬƬY | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Chip3.0 | 47% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Leo2k | 46% | 80 |
| #7 | ❤Poochie❤ | 45% | 112 |
| #8 | Fatal | 42% | 130 |
| #9 | ✪ Light The Beam | 41% | 150 |
| #10 | theoriginalmres | 39% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatal | 16 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ✪ Light The Beam | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Chip3.0 | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | DizzyWallins | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Milpert | 9 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip3.0 | 972 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | DizzyWallins | 568 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Milpert | 344 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪ Light The Beam | 242 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | doc shifty | 207 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip3.0 | +4.39 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Leo2k | +1.65 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Broseff | +0.99 | 44 | 43 |
| #4 | ❤Poochie❤ | +0.17 | 49 | 43 |
| #5 | ✪ Light The Beam | +0.12 | 53 | 59 |





