










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1769 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4127 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3841 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3375 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,707,555 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayzanity 3 | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Jayzanity | 52% | 202 |
| #3 | Coooookie | 51% | 360 |
| #4 | Hali | 51% | 302 |
| #5 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | 49% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coooookie | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Hali | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Jayzanity 3 | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Jayzanity | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coooookie | 1897 | 0.25 | 48 min |
| #2 | Jayzanity | 828 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | 616 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Hali | 419 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | Jayzanity 3 | 376 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | +2.02 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | Jayzanity | +1.77 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | Coooookie | +1.16 | 53 | 72 |
| #4 | Jayzanity 3 | +1.09 | 55 | 71 |
| #5 | MUFASA | -0.99 | 62 | 75 |





