








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6143 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4690 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4518 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4488 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,295 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hali | 56% | 163 |
| #2 | MUFASA | 53% | 66 |
| #3 | Coooookie | 53% | 281 |
| #4 | Byggmester Bob | 52% | 202 |
| #5 | Drak0n | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MUFASA | 53% | 66 |
| #3 | Coooookie | 53% | 281 |
| #4 | Byggmester Bob | 52% | 202 |
| #5 | Drak0n | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | EY-YO CHICO | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coooookie | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Hali | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coooookie | 1439 | 0.24 | 37 min |
| #2 | MUFASA | 271 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Byggmester Bob | 240 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hali | 222 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | EY-YO CHICO | 143 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EY-YO CHICO | +2.45 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | Jayzanity | +1.06 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | Coooookie | +0.91 | 54 | 71 |
| #4 | Byggmester Bob | -1.27 | 43 | 56 |
| #5 | MUFASA | -1.36 | 53 | 69 |





