








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3543 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2720 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2750 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2630 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,838 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hali | 51% | 150 |
| #5 | Coooookie | 50% | 125 |
| #6 | Byggmester Bob | 49% | 153 |
| #7 | Jayzanity 3 | 48% | 48 |
| #8 | Drak0n | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coooookie | 566 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jayzanity 3 | 183 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Byggmester Bob | 179 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hali | 152 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | MUFASA | 152 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | +2.12 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | Coooookie | +0.84 | 54 | 69 |
| #3 | Jayzanity 3 | +0.10 | 50 | 66 |
| #4 | Drak0n | +0.01 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | MUFASA | -0.34 | 57 | 69 |





