










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 744 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8330 | 38% |
| Smokes | 6128 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4753 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2988 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,950 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUFASA | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | Jayzanity 3 | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Jayzanity | 53% | 281 |
| #4 | Byggmester Bob | 51% | 360 |
| #5 | Hali | 50% | 317 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jayzanity 3 | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Jayzanity | 53% | 281 |
| #4 | Byggmester Bob | 51% | 360 |
| #5 | Hali | 50% | 317 |
| #6 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | 50% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hali | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Jayzanity | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Jayzanity 3 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Byggmester Bob | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayzanity | 1101 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | 498 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Byggmester Bob | 412 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | Hali | 393 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | MUFASA | 153 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayzanity 3 | +2.48 | 62 | 73 |
| #2 | [KiK] Brannmann Sam | +2.01 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Jayzanity | +1.42 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Coooookie | +0.90 | 54 | 71 |
| #5 | Byggmester Bob | -1.24 | 44 | 55 |





