








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 866 | 19% |
| Smokes | 936 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 932 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1714 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,989 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milpert | 42% | 24 |
| #2 | ΛBBIƬƬY BΛBBIƬƬY | 41% | 27 |
| #3 | Fatal | 39% | 84 |
| #4 | Broseff | 39% | 123 |
| #5 | Chip3.0 | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | doc shifty | 37% | 65 |
| #7 | DizzyWallins | 34% | 161 |
| #8 | ❤Poochie❤ | 32% | 75 |
| #9 | Leo2k | 22% | 27 |
| #10 | ✪ Light The Beam | 22% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broseff | 20 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Fatal | 12 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | DizzyWallins | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | doc shifty | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ✪ Light The Beam | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DizzyWallins | 257 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Broseff | 211 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chip3.0 | 191 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | ❤Poochie❤ | 161 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fatal | 144 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip3.0 | +4.22 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Broseff | +1.69 | 44 | 41 |
| #3 | ✪ Light The Beam | +1.60 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | ❤Poochie❤ | +0.83 | 48 | 42 |
| #5 | Leo2k | +0.46 | 69 | 62 |





