








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1933 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1327 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1214 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1082 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,294 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | 71% | 72 |
| #2 | deva_mari | 69% | 55 |
| #3 | SCOOB | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | pl1m | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | deva_mari | 69% | 55 |
| #3 | SCOOB | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | pl1m | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 53% | 40 |
| #6 | Mr. Tojo | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Mr. Tojo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | deva_mari | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | pl1m | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | 292 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | pl1m | 247 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr. Tojo | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | deva_mari | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | +7.66 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | SCOOB | +0.88 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | pl1m | -0.11 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | Mr. Tojo | -0.38 | 42 | 63 |
| #5 | deva_mari | -0.68 | 40 | 33 |





