








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 400 matches | ||
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 71,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24496 | 34% |
| Smokes | 15244 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 19478 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 12310 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,645 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3078 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beak> | 71% | 72 |
| #2 | Robbie Rotten | 59% | 130 |
| #3 | NoDG | 55% | 197 |
| #4 | Mr. Tojo | 50% | 305 |
| #5 | deva_mari | 50% | 720 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deva_mari | 27 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | NoDG | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | BluntSteel^ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Robbie Rotten | 6 | 0.0023 |





