








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 639 matches | ||
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8184 | 22% |
| Smokes | 11686 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 9392 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8057 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,431,208 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folke West | 1078 | 0.11 | 36 min |
| #2 | Krusteeeee | 848 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | lonny | 612 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #4 | Mr. Tojo | 565 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #5 | vuvux | 523 | 0.18 | 16 min |





