








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 987 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9179 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10494 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6019 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7536 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,020,414 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1676 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | The Muffin Man | 55% | 145 |
| #3 | deva_mari | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | Bob | 52% | 97 |
| #5 | BILL BIN LADIN | 51% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bob | 52% | 97 |
| #5 | BILL BIN LADIN | 51% | 194 |
| #6 | Thot Spencer | 49% | 134 |
| #7 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 49% | 223 |
| #8 | Mr. Tojo | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | BILL BIN LADIN | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Thot Spencer | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | The Muffin Man | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Bob | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Muffin Man | 523 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 338 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | BILL BIN LADIN | 329 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Bob | 242 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | lonny | 241 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | +5.05 | 67 | 72 |
| #2 | Bob | +3.71 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | BILL BIN LADIN | +1.25 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | +0.96 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | SCOOB | +0.61 | 63 | 69 |





