








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 959 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 364 matches | ||
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6295 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9998 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 8606 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5384 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,245,749 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 637 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Folke West | 47% | 94 |
| #9 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 45% | 332 |
| #10 | BluntSteel^ | 40% | 53 |
| #11 | nuke_merik | 38% | 80 |
| #12 | U_T^ | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | nuke_merik | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | deva_mari | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Strawman Harrowback | 2 | 0.0014 |





