








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1417 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2569 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2485 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2431 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,785 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 乡巴佬男孩他妈的 | 83% | 24 |
| #2 | bitch respecter | 70% | 46 |
| #3 | Deku | 67% | 82 |
| #4 | lil gooblin | 64% | 76 |
| #5 | Tren ⚡ | 63% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sfw | 61% | 120 |
| #7 | iwnl_cope | 57% | 37 |
| #8 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 57% | 67 |
| #9 | peep | 53% | 15 |
| #10 | Mrs. Top 0.023% | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Tren ⚡ | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | iwnl_cope | 7 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | lil gooblin | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sfw | 456 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 321 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Tren ⚡ | 301 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | iwnl_cope | 183 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Deku | 177 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 乡巴佬男孩他妈的 | +6.98 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Mrs. Top 0.023% | +3.67 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | sfw | +1.92 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | iwnl_cope | +1.92 | 82 | 69 |
| #5 | lil gooblin | +1.53 | 75 | 67 |





