








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Faceit | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6083 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7540 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8736 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6142 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,655,311 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tater Thot | 64% | 76 |
| #2 | bitch respecter | 63% | 79 |
| #3 | sfw | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | Tren ⚡ | 57% | 201 |
| #5 | maq | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tren ⚡ | 57% | 201 |
| #5 | maq | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | zeep glorp | 54% | 112 |
| #7 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 53% | 57 |
| #8 | peep | 44% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tren ⚡ | 34 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | peep | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Tater Thot | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | zeep glorp | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tren ⚡ | 1008 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| #2 | peep | 610 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | zeep glorp | 417 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | bitch respecter | 341 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 253 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeep glorp | +2.37 | 74 | 53 |
| #2 | sfw | +1.94 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | Tren ⚡ | +0.92 | 47 | 65 |
| #4 | maq | +0.51 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | peep | +0.19 | 78 | 63 |





