








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8745 | 44% |
| Smokes | 5163 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1340 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 4734 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,245,552 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Tater Thot | 70% | 46 |
| #3 | sfw | 66% | 35 |
| #4 | lil gooblin | 63% | 79 |
| #5 | Tren ⚡ | 55% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tater Thot | 70% | 46 |
| #3 | sfw | 66% | 35 |
| #4 | lil gooblin | 63% | 79 |
| #5 | Tren ⚡ | 55% | 166 |
| #6 | peep | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tren ⚡ | 22 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | lil gooblin | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | peep | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Tater Thot | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tren ⚡ | 853 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | peep | 227 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | lil gooblin | 157 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 130 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | sfw | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sfw | +2.44 | 63 | 57 |
| #2 | bitch respecter | +0.74 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | +0.73 | 25 | 82 |
| #4 | lil gooblin | +0.51 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | peep | -0.02 | 76 | 65 |





