








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3713 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2547 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4134 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2400 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,260 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bitch respecter | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Tren ⚡ | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | sfw | 59% | 116 |
| #4 | Deku | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | Tater Thot | 57% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | lil gooblin | 53% | 57 |
| #7 | iwnl_cope | 48% | 69 |
| #8 | KillaKam | 44% | 43 |
| #9 | Drob | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | Mrs. Top 0.023% | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tren ⚡ | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Deku | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | sfw | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | iwnl_cope | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Tater Thot | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sfw | 379 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | iwnl_cope | 297 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Tren ⚡ | 202 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | KillaKam | 190 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Deku | 154 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs. Top 0.023% | +2.29 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | iwnl_cope | +1.76 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | KillaKam | +1.61 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | Tren ⚡ | +1.15 | 42 | 66 |
| #5 | bitch respecter | +1.07 | 81 | 58 |





