








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4792 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6050 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6382 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4475 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,084 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs. Top 0.023% | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | bitch respecter | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | Tater Thot | 61% | 120 |
| #4 | lil gooblin | 60% | 48 |
| #5 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 59% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 28 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Tater Thot | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ces3lg | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | lil gooblin | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 878 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | iwnl_cope | 589 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | ✪t.tv/bigskewed | 573 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #4 | Tren ⚡ | 204 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mrs. Top 0.023% | 202 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs. Top 0.023% | +3.26 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | sempervirens | +2.67 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | iwnl_cope | +1.58 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | sfw | +1.30 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | bitch respecter | +1.06 | 81 | 63 |





