








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 748 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2788 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3537 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3300 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2030 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,921 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | really bad one | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | bastian06 | 61% | 250 |
| #3 | TheDurpyOwl | 58% | 96 |
| #4 | obsolescence | 57% | 267 |
| #5 | emerbee | 56% | 337 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ¿spOoKē¡ | 54% | 295 |
| #7 | Vernik | 54% | 41 |
| #8 | KaleiJin | 54% | 56 |
| #9 | Jeff51 | 48% | 42 |
| #10 | I AREN'T THINK THAT | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emerbee | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ¿spOoKē¡ | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | obsolescence | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | bastian06 | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | TheDurpyOwl | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emerbee | 979 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | bastian06 | 668 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | ¿spOoKē¡ | 652 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | obsolescence | 557 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #5 | TheDurpyOwl | 134 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | +2.41 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | obsolescence | +1.71 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | bastian06 | +1.65 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | emerbee | +0.47 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | Vernik | -0.33 | 77 | 29 |





