








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5621 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3253 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4487 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2987 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,097 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | really bad one | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | bastian06 | 57% | 212 |
| #3 | emerbee | 55% | 274 |
| #4 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | 54% | 295 |
| #5 | obsolescence | 54% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Vernik | 53% | 32 |
| #7 | KaleiJin | 52% | 52 |
| #8 | TheDurpyOwl | 51% | 78 |
| #9 | I AREN'T THINK THAT | 38% | 47 |
| #10 | Jeff51 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emerbee | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | obsolescence | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | TheDurpyOwl | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | bastian06 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emerbee | 797 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | bastian06 | 573 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | obsolescence | 490 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | 361 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | I AREN'T THINK THAT | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | +2.31 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | bastian06 | +1.87 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | obsolescence | +1.72 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | emerbee | +0.78 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Vernik | +0.03 | 74 | 32 |





