








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 917 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1313 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1397 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1108 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,145 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | really bad one | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | I AREN'T THINK THAT | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | 58% | 96 |
| #4 | obsolescence | 55% | 92 |
| #5 | emerbee | 55% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | obsolescence | 55% | 92 |
| #5 | emerbee | 55% | 134 |
| #6 | bastian06 | 55% | 91 |
| #7 | ¿spOoKē¡ | 51% | 78 |
| #8 | Vernik | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | emerbee | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | obsolescence | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ¿spOoKē¡ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Vernik | 3 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emerbee | 386 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | bastian06 | 259 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | obsolescence | 211 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ¿spOoKē¡ | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | 125 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obsolescence | +2.87 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | ivan biskela (jinwoo) | +2.78 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | bastian06 | +1.35 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | emerbee | +0.95 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Vernik | -0.08 | 84 | 24 |





