








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 41% |
| Smokes | 303 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 95 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 46 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,022 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chopper | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | antny | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | egg | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Robin | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | egg | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Robin | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | flabberfish | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | ✝ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egg | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Chopper | 2 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | flabberfish | 1 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | antny | 1 | 0.0167 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✝ | 7 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | antny | 7 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | egg | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | Robin | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | +5.11 | 87 | 30 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | +1.47 | 73 | 32 |
| #3 | Chopper | +1.32 | 67 | 39 |
| #4 | antny | +1.17 | 45 | 24 |
| #5 | yesman | +0.81 | 62 | 53 |





