








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 539 | 7% |
| Smokes | 2617 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2505 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1753 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $802,779 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✝ | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | yesman | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | antny | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Chopper | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 50% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | antny | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Chopper | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 50% | 180 |
| #6 | Robin | 48% | 178 |
| #7 | flabberfish | 43% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 33 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Robin | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | antny | 9 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | ✝ | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | flabberfish | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | 176 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 74 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | yesman | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✝ | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | flabberfish | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | +2.94 | 80 | 45 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | +2.29 | 82 | 32 |
| #3 | yesman | +1.31 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | ✝ | +0.67 | 67 | 42 |
| #5 | antny | -0.31 | 66 | 25 |





