








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 155 | 31% |
| Smokes | 128 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 99 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,694 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yesman | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | flabberfish | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Robin | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | egg | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Robin | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | egg | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | Chopper | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | ✝ | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 8 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Robin | 6 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | egg | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | flabberfish | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Chopper | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | yesman | 15 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #4 | egg | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | ✝ | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | +5.79 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | ✝ | +3.16 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | +2.15 | 82 | 36 |
| #4 | yesman | +1.03 | 47 | 59 |
| #5 | antny | -0.63 | 62 | 24 |





