








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 35 | 8% |
| Smokes | 105 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 182 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 97 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,799 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yesman | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | egg | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Robin | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | antny | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Robin | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | antny | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 39% | 23 |
| #6 | ✝ | 33% | 12 |
| #7 | flabberfish | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✝ | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Robin | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | egg | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | antny | 1 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | yesman | 18 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✝ | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | egg | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yesman | +2.46 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | +2.29 | 89 | 27 |
| #3 | Robin | +1.76 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | flabberfish | -0.27 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | ✝ | -0.89 | 64 | 48 |





