








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1807 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2088 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2938 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,219,568 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antny | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 52% | 242 |
| #3 | ✝ | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | egg | 48% | 178 |
| #5 | flabberfish | 44% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antny | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 52% | 242 |
| #3 | ✝ | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | egg | 48% | 178 |
| #5 | flabberfish | 44% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 41 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | ✝ | 9 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | egg | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | antny | 8 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | flabberfish | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | 113 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #2 | egg | 82 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✝ | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | antny | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | flabberfish | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | +1.71 | 78 | 45 |
| #2 | DR. COUNTERSTRIKE | +1.22 | 79 | 38 |
| #3 | antny | -0.64 | 61 | 20 |
| #4 | ✝ | -2.00 | 60 | 39 |
| #5 | flabberfish | -2.03 | 45 | 28 |





