










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 34 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9951 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8247 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 10911 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 11731 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $10,005,333 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マーロン MVRL0 | 48 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 21 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Fungy | 20 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 15 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | #PatGum | 12 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiXELonPC | 1610 | 0.33 | 39 min |
| #2 | Fungy | 904 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #3 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 858 | 0.06 | 21 min |
| #4 | マーロン MVRL0 | 611 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #5 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 465 | 0.07 | 12 min |





