








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 810 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11136 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9829 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 10261 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7874 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,118 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1881 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flumsy | 64% | 108 |
| #2 | EL FABIOLO | 64% | 141 |
| #3 | Igor | 62% | 100 |
| #4 | Whindanski*[p$] | 61% | 124 |
| #5 | NOX | 61% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pt | 59% | 339 |
| #9 | NKZ | 58% | 65 |
| #10 | Kev1n | 58% | 272 |
| #11 | ferkel. | 56% | 218 |
| #12 | Klingande | 55% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Kev1n | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Fra | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | pt | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ferkel. | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pt | 2763 | 0.35 | 84 min |
| #2 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 989 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #3 | Fra | 778 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #4 | ferkel. | 688 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #5 | Kev1n | 411 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL FABIOLO | +2.68 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | pt | +2.10 | 82 | 81 |
| #3 | Longo | +0.98 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | ferkel. | +0.68 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | Whindanski*[p$] | +0.18 | 78 | 57 |





