








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2497 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3126 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2117 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,346 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Longo | 64% | 141 |
| #2 | NOX | 63% | 72 |
| #3 | Whindanski*[p$] | 60% | 82 |
| #4 | N8 | 59% | 71 |
| #5 | Jackmon- | 58% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | pt | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | Fra | 55% | 33 |
| #9 | NKZ | 54% | 24 |
| #10 | yonkerzz | 51% | 49 |
| #11 | churley | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Longo | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | NOX | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | yonkerzz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Nir | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Longo | 412 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jackmon- | 266 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | NOX | 175 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Whindanski*[p$] | 158 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nir | 154 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL FABIOLO | +2.52 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | pt | +1.99 | 85 | 78 |
| #3 | N8 | +1.55 | 90 | 51 |
| #4 | Longo | +0.41 | 86 | 70 |
| #5 | yonkerzz | +0.30 | 87 | 53 |





