








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 684 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1052 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 879 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 902 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,948 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starlene | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | savaGe` | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | FractaL | 51% | 89 |
| #4 | Anszel | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Anszel | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 50% | 104 |
| #6 | FatPauly | 48% | 64 |
| #7 | schwasted | 47% | 62 |
| #8 | Dilogyy | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FractaL | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Dilogyy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 384 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | schwasted | 227 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | FractaL | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | FatPauly | 142 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Starlene | 132 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0rEaNaCh0 | +2.87 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Anszel | +2.06 | 46 | 63 |
| #3 | FractaL | +1.28 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Starlene | -0.76 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | ♥ Cazmidian | -1.11 | 71 | 65 |





