








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 249 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3315 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3917 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2815 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3804 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,092,923 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savaGe` | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Starlene | 57% | 122 |
| #3 | Anszel | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | schwasted | 51% | 171 |
| #5 | Dilogyy | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dilogyy | 50% | 52 |
| #6 | ♥ Cazmidian | 50% | 104 |
| #7 | FatPauly | 50% | 195 |
| #8 | FractaL | 49% | 206 |
| #9 | mcn | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FractaL | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Starlene | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | schwasted | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | ♥ Cazmidian | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Dilogyy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwasted | 600 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | FractaL | 463 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Starlene | 446 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | FatPauly | 425 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Anszel | 233 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0rEaNaCh0 | +2.49 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | FractaL | +0.89 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Anszel | -0.03 | 42 | 69 |
| #4 | Starlene | -0.29 | 71 | 53 |
| #5 | savaGe` | -0.40 | 44 | 55 |





