








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 256 matches | ||
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3565 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3429 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4854 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3720 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,015 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 813 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savaGe` | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Starlene | 54% | 101 |
| #3 | Anszel | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | ♥ Cazmidian | 51% | 89 |
| #5 | schwasted | 50% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | schwasted | 50% | 254 |
| #6 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 49% | 206 |
| #7 | FatPauly | 46% | 197 |
| #8 | Dilogyy | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | mcn | 44% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatPauly | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | schwasted | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | mcn | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Dilogyy | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | savaGe` | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwasted | 841 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 826 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #3 | FatPauly | 387 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Starlene | 312 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | mcn | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0rEaNaCh0 | +2.46 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | FractaL | +1.49 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Starlene | -0.20 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | savaGe` | -0.77 | 46 | 59 |
| #5 | ♥ Cazmidian | -0.96 | 70 | 65 |





