








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4367 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3244 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3873 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3222 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,847,794 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starlene | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | Dilogyy | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | FatPauly | 51% | 204 |
| #4 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 51% | 171 |
| #5 | FractaL | 50% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 51% | 171 |
| #5 | FractaL | 50% | 254 |
| #6 | Anszel | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | ♥ Cazmidian | 47% | 62 |
| #8 | mcn | 45% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcn | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | FractaL | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | FatPauly | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Starlene | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 752 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | FractaL | 592 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | FatPauly | 430 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | mcn | 385 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | Starlene | 196 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0rEaNaCh0 | +3.00 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | FractaL | +1.72 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | Starlene | +0.57 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Anszel | +0.23 | 40 | 66 |
| #5 | FatPauly | -0.86 | 72 | 58 |





