








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4265 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4405 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4623 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4091 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,278,885 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nemo | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | ♥ Cazmidian | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 57% | 122 |
| #4 | FractaL | 54% | 101 |
| #5 | schwasted | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G H O S T | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Maybe: Zac | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Anszel | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | FractaL | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anszel | 681 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | k0rEaNaCh0 | 460 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Sunxer | 195 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | FractaL | 193 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | FatPauly | 169 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunxer | +3.19 | 61 | 57 |
| #2 | k0rEaNaCh0 | +2.79 | 89 | 70 |
| #3 | Sapphire | +1.21 | 83 | 40 |
| #4 | FractaL | +0.52 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | nemo | +0.44 | 72 | 68 |





