








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 786 | 26% |
| Smokes | 616 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 797 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 853 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,538 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philly | 13 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | fandewejdene | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | zekq_ | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Capitaine Cool | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | silent | 2 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 107 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | The G's Plug | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | zekq_ | 89 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Philly | 87 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | fandewejdene | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |





