








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2472 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3245 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2123 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2285 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,979 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jajat | 65% | 63 |
| #2 | Petasse to the Metal | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | kungler_ | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | silent | 63% | 91 |
| #5 | Capitaine Cool | 61% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Capitaine Cool | 61% | 173 |
| #6 | zekq_ | 59% | 155 |
| #7 | fandewejdene | 56% | 141 |
| #8 | Philly | 51% | 51 |
| #9 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zekq_ | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Capitaine Cool | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | fandewejdene | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | jajat | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Philly | 6 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 880 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | silent | 258 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | zekq_ | 187 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | fandewejdene | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Philly | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silent | +2.61 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Capitaine Cool | +1.19 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | The G's Plug | +0.99 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | zekq_ | +0.59 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | fandewejdene | +0.27 | 82 | 52 |





