








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2401 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4481 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3906 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3545 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,975,707 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1995 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silent | 63% | 64 |
| #2 | jajat | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | The G's Plug | 59% | 155 |
| #4 | Capitaine Cool | 58% | 139 |
| #5 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 56% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | The G's Plug | 59% | 155 |
| #4 | Capitaine Cool | 58% | 139 |
| #5 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 56% | 61 |
| #6 | fandewejdene | 55% | 164 |
| #7 | Philly | 54% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fandewejdene | 23 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Philly | 21 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Capitaine Cool | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | The G's Plug | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 701 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | The G's Plug | 430 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | fandewejdene | 165 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | silent | 155 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Philly | 153 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silent | +2.28 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Capitaine Cool | +1.19 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | The G's Plug | +0.94 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | zekq_ | +0.91 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | fandewejdene | +0.61 | 78 | 51 |





