








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1946 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2213 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1790 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $807,026 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jajat | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | silent | 65% | 51 |
| #3 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 61% | 66 |
| #4 | Capitaine Cool | 59% | 90 |
| #5 | Philly | 56% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 61% | 66 |
| #4 | Capitaine Cool | 59% | 90 |
| #5 | Philly | 56% | 89 |
| #6 | The G's Plug | 56% | 141 |
| #7 | zekq_ | 55% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zekq_ | 21 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 16 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Philly | 14 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | The G's Plug | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Capitaine Cool | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 468 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | The G's Plug | 386 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | zekq_ | 227 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | silent | 134 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Philly | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silent | +3.38 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | zekq_ | +1.21 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | Capitaine Cool | +0.65 | 84 | 74 |
| #4 | fandewejdene | +0.64 | 80 | 52 |
| #5 | The G's Plug | +0.55 | 76 | 72 |





