








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 14% |
| Smokes | 560 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 725 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 657 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,419 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The G's Plug | 65% | 63 |
| #2 | fandewejdene | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | silent | 64% | 33 |
| #5 | Capitaine Cool | 63% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bilzeiboube | 62% | 21 |
| #7 | Petasse to the Metal | 62% | 13 |
| #8 | zekq_ | 59% | 34 |
| #9 | kungler_ | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Philly | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | zekq_ | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | The G's Plug | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | silent | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Bilzeiboube | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 452 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | The G's Plug | 182 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | silent | 110 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | kungler_ | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bilzeiboube | 33 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | +2.43 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | The G's Plug | +2.01 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | silent | +1.97 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | fandewejdene | +0.25 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | zekq_ | +0.24 | 75 | 56 |





