








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1499 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1691 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1403 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,418 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Chillnub | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | eellie01 | 50% | 32 |
| #9 | Deswatem | 49% | 43 |
| #10 | Tom Fugleri | 48% | 61 |
| #11 | I LOVE Anime Bitches!!!!! | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulsi~ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Lars | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Keli96 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Navilicous | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Tom Fugleri | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keli96 | 404 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | kulsi~ | 390 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rubinstern | 374 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #4 | Lars | 217 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Navilicous | 201 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulsi~ | +2.17 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Lars | +1.60 | 41 | 67 |
| #3 | ✪ sJEF | +1.46 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Keli96 | +1.26 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | Rubinstern | +0.29 | 71 | 67 |





