








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,759 | |
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3959 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4427 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4052 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3339 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,601,168 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Navilicous | 65% | 97 |
| #2 | Rubinstern | 63% | 130 |
| #3 | ✪ sJEF | 62% | 126 |
| #4 | kulsi~ | 59% | 154 |
| #5 | Keli96 | 59% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | eellie01 | 52% | 33 |
| #11 | The Onion Jr | 51% | 59 |
| #12 | Tom Fugleri | 48% | 46 |
| #13 | marmika | 46% | 26 |
| #14 | holymaloney | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keli96 | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | kulsi~ | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ✪ sJEF | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Rubinstern | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | The Onion Jr | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rubinstern | 812 | 0.30 | 26 min |
| #2 | Keli96 | 717 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | kulsi~ | 609 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | The Onion Jr | 401 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #5 | jokkimsen | 272 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulsi~ | +2.22 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Lars | +2.16 | 43 | 66 |
| #3 | ✪ sJEF | +1.13 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | jokkimsen | +0.40 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | Keli96 | +0.34 | 68 | 71 |





