








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 959 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2210 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1623 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1156 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,582,714 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gazello | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Krulle | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | Feather | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | PalettenStapel | 50% | 177 |
| #5 | Ludo | 50% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | DerDude | 47% | 161 |
| #10 | Nieltzh | 46% | 147 |
| #11 | yoganilpferd | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | Restmüll | 41% | 71 |
| #13 | jojo wan Kenobi | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludo | 17 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | PalettenStapel | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | señor fefee<3 | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Nieltzh | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | DerDude | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PalettenStapel | 701 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | DerDude | 539 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | Fire | 337 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Krulle | 273 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | señor fefee<3 | 234 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PalettenStapel | +2.27 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | roin | +1.94 | 82 | 43 |
| #3 | DerDude | +0.90 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | Boba und Tino ❤ | +0.42 | 41 | 60 |
| #5 | yoganilpferd | -0.41 | 67 | 56 |





