








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 962 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3652 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6039 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5833 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5629 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,439,661 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PalettenStapel | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | roin | 48% | 131 |
| #3 | Krulle | 48% | 94 |
| #4 | DerDude | 48% | 328 |
| #5 | Ludo | 46% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludo | 45 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | señor fefee<3 | 17 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | roin | 15 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | yoganilpferd | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | DerDude | 10 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerDude | 1270 | 0.19 | 38 min |
| #2 | Fire | 732 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | yoganilpferd | 629 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | señor fefee<3 | 592 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | Krulle | 539 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PalettenStapel | +2.14 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | roin | +2.09 | 82 | 40 |
| #3 | DerDude | +1.87 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Janse | +1.39 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | Boba und Tino ❤ | +0.71 | 38 | 60 |





