








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 722 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11423 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7937 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6134 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6082 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,339,909 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClutchBunny | 56% | 54 |
| #2 | PalettenStapel | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | Janse | 51% | 117 |
| #4 | yoganilpferd | 50% | 469 |
| #5 | Feather | 48% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Fire | 44% | 396 |
| #11 | Krulle | 43% | 167 |
| #12 | Restmüll | 42% | 76 |
| #13 | Nieltzh | 41% | 78 |
| #14 | jojo wan Kenobi | 39% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludo | 74 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | señor fefee<3 | 33 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | yoganilpferd | 20 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | roin | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Fire | 11 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoganilpferd | 1260 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #2 | Krulle | 1125 | 0.31 | 23 min |
| #3 | Fire | 1111 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #4 | señor fefee<3 | 918 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #5 | Ludo | 833 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClutchBunny | +3.27 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | PalettenStapel | +3.26 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | roin | +2.48 | 83 | 43 |
| #4 | DerDude | +2.30 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | Janse | +1.98 | 81 | 71 |





